Why I love FFV: Weird translations

So, one thing that stands out is the really weird translation that they've given the GBA rerelease of FF5. I mean, half of the time it seems like they're talking about some weird STD. "Such a pity! That bedamned clapperclaw has taken the queen in her sexual prime!".

There's also some interesting phrases used instead of... well, let's just pick "Holy Crap!". I mean, I suppose it's plausible that they have Christmas. And, instead of reindeer, I suppose Santa drags his airship with eight frisky black chocobos.

I know, I should probably hate these weird bits of dialogue. And I do -- I think that the Jumping Christmas! thing is absurd. I like the thought of an archaic speaking (fake) King Tycoon, though. As though a father is going to pick a random dungeon to talk to his daughter about the dangers of the clap.

And, look! You get a town of secret homosexuals. Look! They're macking on Butz! And, if you dance for them, they throw gil at you! You're a cheap 100 gil harlot!

That's why _I_ love FFV.