Can two nerds do it? Take the most epic journey across the Final Fantasy Universe ever? Can they avoid being knocked down in I, find the first Chocobos in II, play the long, lost forgotten cousin III, cleanse their soul in IV, save the crystals in V, blabber on and on about how great VI is, and then go beyond, into the world of 3D, emo, and fantastically absurd hair? Read, and find out!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Finale Fantasie Trois!

Okay, my junior recital is over, so now I can concentrate on the important things in life again: namely, playing video games, and writing about playing videogames on the interweb. So that brings us to Final Fantasy 3, a cute little game that takes the most boring parts of FF1 and FF5 and somehow crafts a rather enjoyable little lovechild out of them.


Don't you love that device of having the heroes be orphans? So far, we have not had a permanent playable character that was NOT an orphan, believe it or not. This way, Square doesn't have to waste pixels on peoples' moms and dads, or even on lines describing what each character is like.



But we shouldn't judge. This game is from a simpler time, when pixellated men were real pixellated men, women were real pixellated women, and things are exactly as the game describes them to you. Like this girl! She's a dancer!

Or this little red blob! It's a campfire!



Or this unpassable space. It's an invisible wall!


You get the picture. Anyway, I have complete faith that the final boss is going to be some sort of dark lord that has somehow tried to steal the power of the Crystals for his own, or to otherwise destroy said Crystals. I am pretty sure that whatever church exists in this world is only going to resurrect my guys when they die, and isn't actually the supreme evil in the universe.

Oh well. I'm sure I'll manage to get through it anyway.

Sunday, April 1, 2007

I'm SO mature.



See? It's just funny.

Final Fantasy III!



...It starts.

Final Fantasy III is pretty much the archetype by which FFV is built. It's not quite as polished -- you've got four generic heroes rather than people with personality, but it's got crystals, job classes.... Just a general good time.

The graphics and sound are a definite fallback from our I and II game. This is the original, non-advanced version, so the sound is a bit painful, the graphics are absurdly lacking, but the difficulty feels about spot on.

With four heroes to name, I had to go with what seems like the obvious...

Yes, I too have matured greatly since 1990.


Why did I go with the last character not being a Wheel of Time name?









Easy! It makes for hilarious screenshots like this.

Hee. Carbuncle Fucker.

New insult, ye hath been borne.



Mr. Cactuar says: This page has had unique visitors since July 6, 2007.