Can two nerds do it? Take the most epic journey across the Final Fantasy Universe ever? Can they avoid being knocked down in I, find the first Chocobos in II, play the long, lost forgotten cousin III, cleanse their soul in IV, save the crystals in V, blabber on and on about how great VI is, and then go beyond, into the world of 3D, emo, and fantastically absurd hair? Read, and find out!

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Political Incorrectness

Like I said, FF3 is a game from a simpler time, before the advent of the PC age in the 90s. How can I tell this? Well, Google. But also from the way you treat your womenfolk:


That's right: rescue the princess, then refuse her the opportunity to demonstrate her skill and capability, and then sleep in her bed! This is a moral outrage.

Not as outrageous as this, though:


I think they prefer to be called little people. And this offensive word is everywhere! There's the Town of Midgets, there's Midget Bread... I mean, I know there are space restraints to take into consideration, but couldn't we have had the City of Vertically Challenged Individuals and Bread that May Be Small, but is Just as Delicious as Larger-Bodied Bread?

And here you are intruding on the breeding ground of what can only be described as an endangered species:



Completely unacceptable. I have to grudgingly admit, however, that this game possesses a rather enlightened viewpoint towards gay acceptance, a view far ahead of its time. I mean, just look at this:


It's moments like these-- when I can take a screencap of two men spooning in an inn-- when I remember how much I love video games. Isn't it a beautiful moment?


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