If you tag it, they will come

I'm in the middle of midterms, so the FF7 playing has been a little bit slow. I'm in the middle of writing up another post for you guys, but I should be writing a paper about how there are salesmen in both "The Iceman Cometh" and (surprise!) "Death of a Salesman." I know, super profound, right?

So, in the meantime, here's something I found amusing. It's a list of all the various keywords that people have used to find our blog. I've highlighted my favorites-- those which are either the most hilarious, or the most revolting, or some combination of both..

	32	30.48%	blogging final fantasy
	7	6.67%	final fantasy sex
	3	2.86%	final fantasy
	3	2.86%	blogging zelda
	2	1.90%	welcome to the town of assaram
	2	1.90%	oh my hero so far away now
	1	0.95%	terra orphanage ff6
	1	0.95%	conclusion of my hero
	1	0.95%	rosa final fantasy slutty
	1	0.95%	kefka
	1	0.95%	ff6 endings
	1	0.95%	final fantasy ladies
	1	0.95%	final fantasy vi shadow/relm
	1	0.95%	oh my hero so far away no
	1	0.95%	matola
	1	0.95%	wow to get dancer on ff11
	1	0.95%	10 sex hot
	1	0.95%	final fantasy x-death fucking tree
	1	0.95%	ff6a magicite list
	1	0.95%	oh my hero opera
	1	0.95%	final fantasy sex games
	1	0.95%	final fantasy vii cash cow
	1	0.95%	poopenschaft
	1	0.95%	final fantasy plots
	1	0.95%	final fantasy the journey continues fan
	1	0.95%	ff2j best black mage setup
	1	0.95%	blogging ff
	1	0.95%	intra species sex
	1	0.95%	bloggingdq
	1	0.95%	oh my hero
	1	0.95%	16 bit rpgs
	1	0.95%	final fantasy 7 hot sex
	1	0.95%	tecmo secret of the stars
	1	0.95%	conclusion about molest
	1	0.95%	ff4/ odin / snes
	1	0.95%	how to make leo on ff6a gba ff6
	1	0.95%	oh my hero, so far away now
	1	0.95%	oh my hero, so far away now.
	1	0.95%	opera ff3 song oh my hero
	1	0.95%	final fantasy rip game
	1	0.95%	ramza infp
	1	0.95%	ffvi opera oh my hero
	1	0.95%	ff6 secret gau scene
	1	0.95%	ff6 secret scenes
	1	0.95%	game plot
	1	0.95%	opera lyrics ffvi
	1	0.95%	sabin figaro girlfriend
	1	0.95%	hero so far away now smile
	1	0.95%	ff7 character list
	1	0.95%	j2e ff4 translation
	1	0.95%	fantasy ladies fi
	1	0.95%	ff7 restore
	1	0.95%	celes suicide snes
	1	0.95%	molestation fantasy
	1	0.95%	fantasy sheap
	1	0.95%	different endings for final fantasy 6
	1	0.95%	final fantasy 16 bit
	1	0.95%	final fantasy 2 translation errors
	1	0.95%	ff7 endi
	1	0.95%	ff7 added effect
	1	0.95%	ff7 added effect odin
	1	0.95%	sketch bug gau

You know what this means, guys! More suggestive tagging and titling of posts, from here on in. We've got to attract that coveted sheap fetishist demographic, after all.

Oh, FF7.

This game brings back memories. Did I tell you it's the first Final Fantasy that I ever played?




Starting up this game, the thing you immediately notice is how incredibly vast and immersive the world seems. I mean, many of the earlier games have large and detailed worlds, too. But Squaresoft uses this opening sequence to whack you across the face, grab you by the hair, and shove you headlong into the grungy, polygon-peopled, and vaguely 80s-inspired universe of FF7, in a way that, frankly, wasn't possible for the non-3D games to accomplish.




Let's take a look, shall we? This is the opening of FF6. (A fan translation, but similar enough.)







It certainly sets a mood. As you may recall, that mood was a vast departure from that of FF5. It's something darker, something with a tad more of the emo to it. But this intro is a real 16-bit device, from the days when graphics could ony tell so much, and the entire story had to fit into a single game cartridge.




Listen, nobody loves FF6 as much as I do. But let's be honest. This is an exposition-fest. Sure, it's a very ominous exposition-fest, and the graphics are gorgeous in their own way. (Which is to say, in a different way than FF7's.) But you, the player, are the observer here. As much as I hate to say it, you have to put a little bit of effort into immersing yourself in the gameworld of FF6. That probably accounts for the big ideological gap between the nerds who favor FF6, and those who favor FF7.




You'll notice the difference in this movie. You start out with the stars, right? That's because stars are in space. You know what else is in space? The Planet. You'll be hearing a lot about this over the course of the game.







Anyway, so the stars are swirling around, and stuff. When all of a sudden, you realize they're not stars, but the embers of some bizarre, green furnace, and they are illuminating the face of a lovely young polygonal woman with enormous, anime-shaped eyes. "Dee doo dee," goes the music, "Dee doo dee doo." Oh hey, the bundle of polygons in a pink dress is being cut off by a motorcycle, and then another one, and there are a bunch of people around! That's because we're in the bustling, futuristic, dystopian metropolis of Midgar! A city with plenty of attractions, like a billboard for "Loveless," the latest fragrance from Elizabeth Taylor. Or the "Goblin's Bar," where presumably the city's ethnic minority of D&D characters meet up to join parties and plan adventures.




When the camera zooms all the way out, to focus on a wide shot of Midgar with the Final Fantasy logo superimposed over it, you get a huge sense of how vast this world is. The people have disappeared entirely. Then the zoomy camera, because it's not done screwing with you yet, zooms in AGAIN, this time on a slightly different zone in the city, to focus on the incoming train that is bearing Our Hero and his cadre of lovable eco-terrorist pals.




You'll notice that this approach really underlines the differences between FF6 and FF7. In the former game, you are actively discouraged from taking on the role of a particular character, with any PC able to assume the party's lead position, and the narrative emphasis shifting from Terra, to Locke, to Celes, or to any amount of side characters during the optional quests in the game's second half. In FF7, you play as Cloud, and the game really emphasizes this. You choose many of his dialogue options; side-characters compliment his manly skills (or his feminine beauty, as we will soon see.) But since Cloud is "our" guy, we tend to believe that what he tells people about himself is true, even when his story is strange or hard to understand. After all, Crono would never lie to us! The crux of the game's plot hinges on the player's identification with Cloud.




That's why opinion on FF7 tends to be polarized-- your enjoyment of the game will largely depend on how well you tolerate the distant, chill, sometimes rude, almost alwys emo antihero at the center of the game. Not everybody loves FF6 the way that Matty and I do, but only rarely will you find somebody that really hates the game. (More often, you will find people that have never played it, because they are n00bs and won't play 2D games.) That's because they will usually find at least one character who they can identify with, out of the main cast, and they will never have to play very much as a character that they can't stand.





Anyway, enough blabbing about the intro. Let's get started! There are always new things about FF7 that I discover each time I play. For instance, did you know that Texas exists in FF7? It's true. They make beer there.









Aww, and look who has her own little liquor license. It's Marlene, you guys! How cute.






One thing that I remembered all too well was this goddamn whore of a minigame. You call this fun, Hironobu?!









SUCK IT.









Or, as the characters in this game are so fond of saying, $%#^@&! you, you &^%$#@*&^ (*&@#$)!~@#(*&%!.




Love,
Kammy

PS: I'm back, you guys!

I love you guys!

And I haven't forgotten you.... but my laptop broke! That's why I haven't been playing FF7/posting amazing pix. Thankfully, I've just got a temporary setup going with a monitor hooked up to my laptop, so there is light at the end of the tunnel of non-postingness.

So, you know, I'm not dead or anything.