More interesting things about FFIV

When I last left off, we were all sad because Tellah just bit the big one. Well, there's only a certain number of cutscene related deaths allowed every plot point, so we eventually broke into the chamber where Rosa, our token female white mage, was being held captive. Suspended above her head was a huge-ass iron ball. This, somehow, is a kinder, more friendly punishment than the guillotine in FFIVj. I don't know about you, but dead is dead, and a huge iron ball seems like a much worse death than choppy choppy, but maybe that's just me.

FFIV starts a few conventions which are rather irksome to me. One is the 'fake ending precisely halfway through the game'. FFVI improves on this, but really, considering how dark of a past Cecil had, surely he must understand the number one rule of gaming -- you have to kill a great evil six, maybe seven times before it's actually dead.

Also, Golbez was fairly normal looking. Evil has to have some weird crotch-related deformity.

Everyone is pretty happy for a few minutes, before the other shoe drops. Oh, wait, Golbez isn't dead? The Tower is going to explode?! We only have five minutes to live? Oh no! The cutscene death quota was sated for the time being, so we all made it out safe.

In fact, the next incident lets me break out Kamarile's favorite post tag. This is Cid. Everyone's favorite technogeek.

And world-famous suicide bomber.

I honestly wonder if this game could get published in today's standards without a crazy religious figure / homeless person / methadone addict getting on the television and talking about how it's gonna corrupt our bay-bees.

But, then again, there's not an evil Catholic church-style organization, so maybe it's okay.