Why I Love FFV: One Last Marathon Post

So, admittedly, I finished FF5 several days ago. So, let's start out and discuss another Final Fantasy tradition. Nude, busty women. She's especially evil, as she's got the necessary crotch-related deformity. She's got two serpents snaking out of her vuh-jay-jay. The final third of the game involves a lot of boss fights, all with creatures that look bizarre like Melusine.

I wish I could say that this picture was related to snake-lady. However, it's clear. When you're on a quest to save the world from an evil force the likes of which have not been seen for thousands of years, booty is ALWAYS just one random encounter away.





Anyway, after you sleep your way around the world, you finally make it to the end of the game. It turns out, in typical Final Fantasy fashion, that the final boss of the game is NOT the equally matched human you thought he was. He's a giant freaking tree.

This always threw me for a loop. I never understood the narrative justification. Is this a subtle jab at hippies and the liberal media, always out hugging their trees in order to save the world? Is this a bitter retort to the overpriced gardening industry, where a small shrub will run you $37.95? We may never know.