Why I hate FF3

Hooray for forced leveling!

Why I became a Hero

Yay! Airship!
...Yay.... Vending machines?
...Yay? Really, really, really old booty?

Tsk tsk

Time for my nitpickery of the day!

There comes a time in every fan translation where the noble otaku writing the script decide that the regular English dialogue isn't profane enough.



Now, far be it from me to get all "Oh, won't somebody please think of the children!" regarding this game. But this strikes me as kind of a poor word choice. "Shit!" is the kind of interjection that I would use if I dropped my cell phone into the toilet by accident. If I'm about to fight the ultimate evil of the world and all of a sudden I find myself immobilized by an incredible force of darkness, I'd probably think of something else to say.

And I mean, the characters of this game are the textbook definition of nondescript. It's kind of weird to see them using strong language of any sort, especially this late in the game. It's one thing if Barret does it, but then again, do we ever really know what the $#%&$^@ Barret was saying anyway?

So ends my nitpickery of the day.

The quest for the crystals!

So, let's talk a bit about FF3.

The thing that strikes me as odd about this game is the difficulty curve. It's ridiculously steep at the beginning of the game -- a very common scene is having all of your party but one dead, no FenixDowns because you just can't find any, and no easy way out of the dungeon except hiking back the way you came.

However -- once you get past a point very early in the game (a BigRat that you have to fight while all your party is affected by Mini), things get much easier, much faster. In fact -- not only do I have the Fire Crystal and sexy new jobs....

I've got an airship! Which, for some reason, is made with a Time Gear. I was hoping for some sort of sexy time machine, but then I remembered I'm not playing Chrono Trigger.

Whoever made this game....

....is a total Carbuncle Fucker.






FF3j feels like, to me, one of the less enjoyable games. There's a myriad of reasons that I'll delve into in future posts.

This one, however, made me think that our quest might have been inspired by a large bearded man that loves him some Jumbalaya. Seriously? The WATER has lost the (capital L) Light? Woahnoes!




Oh, and Kammy? Your mom totally said this to me last night: