Light Warriors? Not anymore, mothafucka!

Hey, you guys! Isn't it great that Squaresoft has gotten all progressive with this game? They love the environment, they LOVE the gays (getting to that soon!), and... hey! Look! A black guy! And he's always there to make some sort of sassy, hip comment that is totally off the chain. Look, he knows how to tell it to the Shinra:




And why the %$#@! should he bother with that bitch Jenova? He's got bigger fish to fry.



Barret knows the value of some well-placed punctuation.







So we at Blogging Final Fantasy salute you, Barret. You have broken the Final Fantasy color barrier, if not the anime trope that one character per anime must have at least one mechanical limb.



We shall overcome, my friends. We shall overcome.

Oh, FF7.

This game brings back memories. Did I tell you it's the first Final Fantasy that I ever played?




Starting up this game, the thing you immediately notice is how incredibly vast and immersive the world seems. I mean, many of the earlier games have large and detailed worlds, too. But Squaresoft uses this opening sequence to whack you across the face, grab you by the hair, and shove you headlong into the grungy, polygon-peopled, and vaguely 80s-inspired universe of FF7, in a way that, frankly, wasn't possible for the non-3D games to accomplish.




Let's take a look, shall we? This is the opening of FF6. (A fan translation, but similar enough.)







It certainly sets a mood. As you may recall, that mood was a vast departure from that of FF5. It's something darker, something with a tad more of the emo to it. But this intro is a real 16-bit device, from the days when graphics could ony tell so much, and the entire story had to fit into a single game cartridge.




Listen, nobody loves FF6 as much as I do. But let's be honest. This is an exposition-fest. Sure, it's a very ominous exposition-fest, and the graphics are gorgeous in their own way. (Which is to say, in a different way than FF7's.) But you, the player, are the observer here. As much as I hate to say it, you have to put a little bit of effort into immersing yourself in the gameworld of FF6. That probably accounts for the big ideological gap between the nerds who favor FF6, and those who favor FF7.




You'll notice the difference in this movie. You start out with the stars, right? That's because stars are in space. You know what else is in space? The Planet. You'll be hearing a lot about this over the course of the game.







Anyway, so the stars are swirling around, and stuff. When all of a sudden, you realize they're not stars, but the embers of some bizarre, green furnace, and they are illuminating the face of a lovely young polygonal woman with enormous, anime-shaped eyes. "Dee doo dee," goes the music, "Dee doo dee doo." Oh hey, the bundle of polygons in a pink dress is being cut off by a motorcycle, and then another one, and there are a bunch of people around! That's because we're in the bustling, futuristic, dystopian metropolis of Midgar! A city with plenty of attractions, like a billboard for "Loveless," the latest fragrance from Elizabeth Taylor. Or the "Goblin's Bar," where presumably the city's ethnic minority of D&D characters meet up to join parties and plan adventures.




When the camera zooms all the way out, to focus on a wide shot of Midgar with the Final Fantasy logo superimposed over it, you get a huge sense of how vast this world is. The people have disappeared entirely. Then the zoomy camera, because it's not done screwing with you yet, zooms in AGAIN, this time on a slightly different zone in the city, to focus on the incoming train that is bearing Our Hero and his cadre of lovable eco-terrorist pals.




You'll notice that this approach really underlines the differences between FF6 and FF7. In the former game, you are actively discouraged from taking on the role of a particular character, with any PC able to assume the party's lead position, and the narrative emphasis shifting from Terra, to Locke, to Celes, or to any amount of side characters during the optional quests in the game's second half. In FF7, you play as Cloud, and the game really emphasizes this. You choose many of his dialogue options; side-characters compliment his manly skills (or his feminine beauty, as we will soon see.) But since Cloud is "our" guy, we tend to believe that what he tells people about himself is true, even when his story is strange or hard to understand. After all, Crono would never lie to us! The crux of the game's plot hinges on the player's identification with Cloud.




That's why opinion on FF7 tends to be polarized-- your enjoyment of the game will largely depend on how well you tolerate the distant, chill, sometimes rude, almost alwys emo antihero at the center of the game. Not everybody loves FF6 the way that Matty and I do, but only rarely will you find somebody that really hates the game. (More often, you will find people that have never played it, because they are n00bs and won't play 2D games.) That's because they will usually find at least one character who they can identify with, out of the main cast, and they will never have to play very much as a character that they can't stand.





Anyway, enough blabbing about the intro. Let's get started! There are always new things about FF7 that I discover each time I play. For instance, did you know that Texas exists in FF7? It's true. They make beer there.









Aww, and look who has her own little liquor license. It's Marlene, you guys! How cute.






One thing that I remembered all too well was this goddamn whore of a minigame. You call this fun, Hironobu?!









SUCK IT.









Or, as the characters in this game are so fond of saying, $%#^@&! you, you &^%$#@*&^ (*&@#$)!~@#(*&%!.




Love,
Kammy

PS: I'm back, you guys!

FF7: Sticking to traditions

So, one of the great things about FF7, to me, at least, is how it sticks to the classic traditions that came before it.    Take yourself back to FF6, and the battle with Whelk.   FF7 starts you out battling a Scorpio-bot, with an identical battle mechanic.   Attack when it's <blank>in, and it'll <blank> ur <blank>z. But it doesn't just stop with repeating battle mechanics.   In the proud tradition of Final Fantasy...

There's hoyay. And, wow.  I'd forgotten just how hoyay this game is.   I know that we (perhaps over-)use this tag a lot, but you have to admit, when you can take the time in the middle of the heist to comment to one of the womenfolk in your team of loveable terrorists that she looks hot, just like a dude would? Hmm. I've commented in the past that every time I play these games, I learn something new.   One thing I learned was that after having recently watched the entire season of Firefly (and Serenity), is that I can't resist referring to our wacky hijinks on the rail as 'The Train Job' while sing-songingly reminding myself that there's no place I can't be, since I found Serenity. ...erm, yes.  Anyhoo, back to the game.

 

I mean, FF7 is pretty awesome, if for nothing more than how immature the script will allow you to be, sometimes, and all the things that seem 'risky' and 'edgy' after the prior games.   What other game will let you call a female love interest a 'slum drunk'? What other game will let you play the part of a terrorist faction that blows up power plants? I'm actually vaguely of the opinion that, were someone to try to pitch this game now, that it wouldn't make it, what with the whole interactive terrorist module.  And, just in closing -- I do have a 'Cloud, you set the bomb.' screenshot.  I'll abuse a lot of memes, but that's one that I'll respectfully decline to touch. Kamarile will probably be all over it, though.

FF7: It Starts

So, not too long after my original post, I've swapped out my laptop with one from the office, and I've taken my PS2 and stood it on its edge, so that it stands proud and tall, like a... proud... tall... thing.  Both of my problems are momentarily resolved.

Now, back to Final Fantasy VII.   Welcome to splash screens that are relevant to the plot in some way, shape, or form.   And you get two of them, for the price of one.   There's the classic, black screen, and then there's the actual, in game screen, which shows how gorgeous the game is. And it actually looks a lot prettier than I remember, but that might be because I'm playing it on a quarter of a tiny 12" laptop screen, instead of a massive 32" screen. Oh well.

The game hasn't changed much from the classic formula, really.   You're a character with a mysterious past (this time called 'Ex-SOLDIER' instead of ????????).   You'll travel in a party of no more than three, and you'll notice that everyone looks vaguely more people-like, and that the game is probably one of the prettiest you'll see, considering the time that it came out. The things we'll sacrifice?   People are a bit less expressive.    Everyone's very polygonal, (though I don't know if you'll notice that in the screenshots), so a lot of how feelings and emotions are conveyed are through music, which, of course, you don't have, as this is a blog of pictures and words.   This is really unfortunate, considering how expressive sprites could be in FF6, which was enhanced by appropriate music. FF7 is really a bit of a mixed bag in those terms.   It gains a lot from new technology, but it loses a lot because of it.   That'll probably be the theme of the blog for this game, at least for me.   It's a great game, but is it really better than any other Final Fantasy? Stay tuned.

Seventh Inning Stretch

Wow.   It's hard to believe that we're up to round 7 of the Blog.   We're practically finished, we are. Final Fantasy 7 still has a special place in my heart.   I was 17, a plucky young junior in High School, and we spent our weekends alternating between playing Magic: The Gathering, Dungeons and Dragons, and Final Fantasy VII. It was my first RPG team sport, if you will.   I even remember when one of our clan was penalty boxed and exiled from the house when he erased the save game that was thirty hours in.   Whoops. For those of us who came from sprite-based games, it was amazing popping in that first (of THREE!) disks, and seeing these... people (blocky people, yes, but stay with me) on screen. People!  They... looked realistic.   A little pointy, but realistic all the same. This was huge!  No longer were storymakers bound by the limits of pixels!  We could have fantastic creations, each one more beautiful than the last. You'll soon hear me decry this fantastic innovation as the giant-ass sword through the heart of what makes the series great, of course, but still, at the time, this was huge in a good way. I'll start my journey later this week; I've got a lot of crazy work stuff coming up due, including major deadlines in my first quarter-million dollar project, as well as some wacky home renovations during the holidays, but rest assured, you, the reader, are at the forefront of my mind.   [Interesting fact:  While in a meeting for said work project, the lead programmer's cell phone rang and it was his wife.  Her ringtone?   Totally FF related.] Plus, if I play my cards right in this playthrough, I'll have the opportunity to use the hoyay and racism tags in the same post.   How awesome is that?

The real thing isn't really less ridiculous.

The Magnificent FF7

As soon as I can get an AV multi-out cable for my PS2 to connect to my brand new Gamebridge, Matty and I will be starting our playthrough of FF7. (Actually, I need to find a memory card, too. Yuck.) As with FF5, we have devised a special set of rules for this playthrough. They're a little bit on the byzantine side, so let's run through them:

1. Matty and I compiled a list of FF characters with set classes/classlike abilities. This includes the casts of FF4, FF6, and FF9.

2. We then determined which materia in FF7 approximate the spells and skills of each character. Some wind up far more useful than others.

3. We assigned a number to each character, then, going down the list of FF7 characters, we used a random number generator to decide whose skillset each FF7 character would be able to use.

The intent of this is to thwart the main drawback of the materia system: namely, that the player ends up using the same three characters over and over again. With this system, the characters can ONLY use the materia assigned to them , and therefore we'd be forced to use more characters over the course of the game.

Here is what I ended up with.

Cloud: Cyan
Counter
Slash All
Double Cut
HP Absorb
MP Absorb
Odin
Added-effect/Time
Barret: Gogo
Mimic
*Can equip whatever magic materia the other members of the current party have equipped
Tifa: Strago
Enemy Skill
MP+
Aeris: Edge
Double-cut
Throw
Exit
*Can use offensive items
Red13: Gau
*Can only equip one materia at any given time
*No weapons allowed
CaitSith: Eiko
Titan
Phoenix
Alexander
Restore
Revive
Heal
Barrier
Time (not Slow)
Transform
Seal (not Sleep)
Destruct (not Death)
MP+
Magic Plus
MP Turbo
Cid: Dagger
Shiva
Ifrit
Ramuh
Odin
Leviathan
Hades
Bahamut
Restore
Life
Barrier
Heal
Transform
Mystify
MP+
Magic Plus
MP Turbo
Destruct (no Death)
Vincent: Vivi
Fire
Seal
Ice
Time (no Haste)
Lightning
Poison
Gravity
Comet
Destruct
Contain
Added Effect
MP+
Elemental
Yuffie: Sabin
Deathblow
Fire-All
Enemy Skill (Aero and White Wind Only)
HP+
Double Cut



All in all, a pretty balanced party. Happily, thanks to the double dosage of white mage/summoner skillsets, I won't have to use Cait Sith after all.

Matty rolled the following:

Cloud: Amarant
Throw
Restore
Life
(no All)
Deathblow
HP+
Long Range
Magic Plus
MP Turbo
Added Effect
Counter
Cover
Preemptive
Magic Counter
Return
HP absorb
MP absorb
Barret: Kain
XP+
HP+
SPD+
Tifa: Zidane
Enemy Away,
Steal
Preemptive,
Sense
Deathblow
HP+
SPD+
Added effect
counter
Cover (if in a party with 2 girls)
Aeris: Vivi
Fire
Seal
Ice
Time (no Haste)
Lightning
Poison
Gravity
Comet
Destruct
Contain
Added Effect
MP+
Elemental
Cid: Edge
double-cut
Throw
Exit
*Can use offensive items
Red 13: Relm
Manipulate
Cait Sith: Quina
Enemy Skill
MP+
Added Effect
Counter
Vincent: Terra
Fire
Heal
Restore
Life
Exit
Ultima
Gravity (only Demi)
Contain (only Break)
Morph (for kicks)
*either HP+ or MP+
Yuffie: Gogo
Mimic
*Can equip whatever magic materia the other members of the current party have equipped

Some of my favorites didn't get rolled at all, namely Rydia, who would have been a crazy black magic/summoner powerhouse. But the results of this experiment should be interesting. It took a long time to set up, but I think it'll be worth it!

In the meantime, why don't you sit back and enjoy some of these vintage FF7 commercials?








"Will never come to a theater near you"... if only! Damn you, Advent Children!





Yes, they were right! It couldn't be done in a major motion picture! Which is why Advent Children went straight to DVD... because it was awful!



Okay, I can't say anything else mean. I love FF7, I really do. What I don't love is my lack of a proper AV multi out cable! Curses. Anyway, we will get to this game as soon as possible.